Signs Your Climbing Partner Might Be Dangerous

• You often hear the faint clinking of Tequila bottles whenever he racks up.
• Complains about cigarette burns making his rope "a b#tch" to rappel on.
• Commands such as "Slack" and "Tension" must often be prefaced with "HEY! WAKE UP!"
• Always 20 minutes late because he has to unwind climbing rope from Jeep winch.
• On first night out in double portaledge, awakens you at 3am wondering "hypothetically"if Spectra would be damaged by spilled battery acid.
• Been known to extol the virtues of the high-speed Dulfersitz.
• Uses the words "granny knot" and "bomber" in the same sentence.
• After fifth pitch, asks for water to wash down the Prozac.
• Mentions wanting to buy new pro while thumbing through Ernst sale flyer.
• Prefers clapping, rather than shouting to give encouragement while belaying.