Signs you’re not one of the better climbers in town

• You climbed 5.8 your first day climbing, and 8 years later a 5.4 lead still scares the bejeezus out of you.
• You're mad that 5.2 doesn't have the a/b/c/d modifiers for better delineating the subtleties of this tricky grade.
• You know every pitch and every move of the Nose, but the most you've ever done is scramble halfway up the 3rd class approach, got scared, and climbed back down.
• The exposure in your local gym terrifies you.
• The only thought you have before a big climb is "How am I gonna get Joe to lead all the pitches?"
• You fall off the front steps of the gym.
• You freeze at the crux and the little kids yell at you to "Stop hogging the sliding board."
• People ask if you're a park ranger.
• The best finger jam you've had was when you slammed your hand in the car door.
• You've had to be rescued off a top-rope.
• Your partner regularly hauls you up on a Z-pully.
• Favorite call to your belayer: "Tension!"
• You decide a route is rated 5.2 A0.
• Can't cross the talus field without a belay.
• Your team uses you to "test" for avalanche stability.
• You've chopped the rope with your axe while ice climbing.
• If you find yourself repeatedly yelling "FALLING!!"...........on the approach.
• You clip the lead quickdraws at the gym while on toprope and get stuck.
• Your leg is still recovering from being impaled with your ice axe while practicing "self arrest" on the bunny slope.
• You think "Hypothermia" and "Frostbite" are the up and coming rock groups.