The worst things for your belayer to shout to you while you struggle with the crux.

• Hold on a second, I'm going to switch biners.
• Falling!
• Are you in a good spot?
• You know, I've wanted to try climbing for years.
• Hold on, I've got to go pee.
• There's a knot in the rope.
• (On day 2 of a Grade VI climb) Oh, shit. I forgot my prozac!
• My god, you're going to die.
• Whoops! This is the old rope.
• Dyno for the jug you can't see!
• Hey! Downclimb about ten feet so I can reach the end of the rope.
• If you fall now you'll deck out.
• Your fingers must be REALLY aching by now.
• Hurry up! I think the acid's kicking in!
• Hey, I can see right up your shorts from here.
• Your last piece of pro just fell out.
• All of your peices just fell out.
• Am I supposed to be doing something with this rope?
• You know I go both ways.